Sunday, October 17, 2010

A real tough weekend

Hey Kirbs,

About yesterday was a ruff day for me and I didn't mean to offend you.  You said it didn't bother you, but I know in some way what I said did rub you the wrong way and I'm sorry about being a jerk.  I know you were just asking me a hypothetical question, but I misunderstood you and I responded without thinking.  But just thinking about those things really hurt me. I know I shouldn't let it get to me, but your all I have left. The thought of losing you really drives me to the point of insanity.  Even though it was just a question, please can we not bring it up again, because I guess you are my weakness  I will try harder to act more mature about those situations, and refrain from being jealous or angry.

On top of all that I was having a tough day yesterday, because my mom was mad at me.  She was saying all those things about me and I let her bring me down, when I should have ignored her.  This weekend wasn't that good and you were right I was sad but I didn't want to bother you because I want you to get a good sleep.  I was sad because of what I said and because of the little time i got with you this weekend.  Its is ok though I wanted you to spend time with your sister and your brothers, I was just in a sad mood lol.

  But I am happy you let me stay on Skype when you sleep tonight, it really cheered me up knowing I can watch you sleep like I use to. Since the movie scared the buhjebus out of you last night you let me stay by your side^^.   I miss being with you when you sleep at night and I wish I could do this more often while you are away.  Watching you today made me realize just how much in love I am with you and just how much you mean to me.  I never loved anyone and I'm happy your the one I chose to love, I hope I can tell you I love you everyday for the rest of our lives.

Lately I know you don't want to talk as much because we been talking about the future more and more and its been stressing yourself out.  So I will wait till your ready ok, just come down for a couple of months and decide where you really want to be and I won't fight your decision.
"But you should live here!"  just saying jkjk =).  When your ready we will figure it out, so for now try to be as happy as you can and enjoy your family.  I really miss you and I'm happy I got my work schedule switch so we can spend time together before you sleep tomorrow, so try to stay up with me till 12 ^^.

your crazy sticky dumb dumb

P.S. Heres a pic of you sleeping while I study, its around 7 in the morning by you. I was kinda hoping you wake up so I could tell you everything would be ok and should go back to sleep, because I'm right here. But you didn't so bleh haha.  I hope you had a good night sleep I miss you a lot babe and I can't wait to see you when you get back, don't forget I'm gonna buy you tickets for December, so no matter what you have to come back and spend Christmas with me.

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